Dating is hard enough, let alone when you’re healing from trauma. Relational or complex trauma, can leave scars in how you feel about people, how safe you feel, and how you will react interpersonally. A great framework to understand your reactions is attachment theory. If you can identify your own attachment style, you are able to identify why you respond the way you do. This is also useful in making a tentative identification about the person you’re dating. If you see signs of an attachment style that wouldn’t work for you, don’t ignore it. Most of us healing from complex trauma either struggle to identify red flags, or are practised in ignoring them. Neither of these suggest a flaw with you, they make perfect sense considering your history. When you do see ‘red flag behaviour’, let this be an opportunity in choosing yourself over choosing attachment. If you are early in your healing journey be circumspect when you encounter someone you feel super attracted to. It’s possible that this attraction is because you have sensed something familiar to your past. Pay attention to how your body (nervous system) responds to them, do you feel activated and nervous? Shy and frozen? Fawning or performative? All of these are nervous system responses to threat, so either they are not the right person for you, or something in you is being triggered. Either way, please don’t ignore it. ‘Bad love’ is retraumatising and painful. Bad love is not better than no love. If this is useful, and you’d like more content like this let me know in the comments. #inthetrencheswithyou
I remember taking the picture on the left and thinking my whole makeup looked horrendous. I tore it apart for hours, cried at how I tried a bold eye look to distract from the lower part of my face but it still didn’t work. It was a day that I just couldn’t love myself no matter what and I look back now and all I see is some bomb eye makeup and my favourite pink hair💗 it’s funny how once you’ve learnt to love yourself, you look back at pictures you once hated and end up loving & appreciating them! My makeup has toned down a LOT since my acne went and it’s probably because I don’t try and hide behind a mask anymore but just enjoy playing around and creating new looks ✨ I wish I could go back and tell her everything would be ok, that you eventually love yourself with or without acne and realise that your skin doesn’t define you #skinpositivity#cysticacne#accutane#selflove#loveyourself
Intimidated in the gym? 🏋🏽♀️ ⠀ I know exactly how you feel, I put off working out for Y E A R S because I was too scared to start. I had no idea what I was doing when I was there, I felt lost and confused trying to string together workouts. Walking to the gym made me super uncomfortable. ⠀ Ya feel? ⠀ I created a new YouTube video that is going to help you! I cover my TOP 5 tips to help you feel more comfortable and confident in the gym! ✨ ⠀ Head to YouTube and type in “Olivia Ostrom” to find it! Or the link is in my bio! Don’t forget to subscribe. 💖 ⠀ Sending all my love to you!!! I hope you have an amazing weekend. 🥰
Even now, as broken as you may feel, you are so strong. There's something to be said for how you hold yourself together and keep moving, even though you feel like shattering. Don't stop. This is your healing. It doesn't have to be pretty or graceful. You just have to keep going.
Do not sit on the sidelines of life because your body doesn’t look like hers. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Do not miss out on all the life that can be lived because you’re waiting to look like her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Chances are, she’s waiting to look like you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you can’t love yourself now, you won’t love yourself thinner or curvier. The sideline living will never end because your problem is not with your body. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s with your mind. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You have to practice day in and day out loving the absolute HECK out of yourself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Follow accounts that help your mind, not your self loathing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Take time to reflect on why you feel a certain way, and WHY you think you can only be successful if you’re body looks different? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Put the phone down. Take a breath. Think of where your insecurities are stemming from. It’s not your body. It’s what you’re choosing to believe about yourself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ YOU HAVE A GOOD BOOTY AND SO DOES SHE. EVERY BOOTY IN THE CLUB IS GUD. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!
Don’t question your worth based on other people’s opinions. You are worthy. You are enough! If you want to be better, you can be better. You have so much to offer. Let your light shine ✨ - #herincrediblemindset
There will be days where you’re not motivated __ But the motivation comes after you show up __ Don’t start with the motivation, start with doing __ The hardest part of the workout is always showing up. We all have those days, where it’s hard to get to the gym but once you get there and start your workout, you crush it. __ On those days you don’t want to do it, just say “all I have to do is show up and start” don’t set a time on how long you have to go or distance you have to run. Simply just show up and take action. __ Want to come take an orange theory class with me. Three opportunity this Sunday @otf_ladue: 10:00 am 11:15 am 12:30 pm __ Happy Friday friends __ 🎥: Grace Leon 💻: www.mindbodygracecoaching.com 👻: somebodytoEON 🐥: graceleon0
"Self love isn’t selfish." I love love love quotes. Actually, I really just love words because they can turn so much around. This quote has been one I’ve used in recent years, when I was journeying through the discovery of self love, self help and self worth. But, lately, that quote has me thinking. Sometimes, self love can be selfish. If your journey to self discovery is all about you, then it’s tempting to become self absorbed, self centered and self - ish. While taking care of ourselves is important, we must be so careful not to get so caught up in us that we forget about 'them.' We must not forget the people who are watching, waiting and cheering us on. Go on and love yourself... completely and fully. But, don’t forget to love others in the process.