Beautiful, deep conversations with people who understand you are everything. Drop a ❤️ below if you agree! The key to having these kinds of conversations is to have a genuine curiosity for the other person. Be curious to understand them and worry less about being understood. Listen without judgment. Listen without crafting your response in your head before they’re finished speaking. And for heavens sake stop interrupting. The only way to get to this level of understanding is to stay curious and stop assuming you know what they mean. Any time you think their intentions are off, ask them. Don’t immediately take offense without clarifying first their intentions. To go deeper into conversation you must be willing to witness someone’s vulnerability and hold space for them without attempting to fix them. You can only meet others as deeply as you’ve met yourself, so you must be willing to do the inner work. The work will help you understand them on a soul deep level because you’ve learned to understand yourself. It will help you remain neutral and choose understanding over defensiveness, resulting in compassion versus getting triggered. Curiosity is just the beginning, and it will help you create a safe space for you and others to meet each other deeper than you’ve both ever gone before. Drop a ❤️ and TAG 2 DEEP FRIENDS below. If you’re serious about inner work, come join The Gauntlet which condenses years of growth into 8 weeks. Only for those who think they can handle it. Link in bio. Fear less, Love more, Myles Scott
People love when things are consistent and predictable. It makes us feel at ease and in control. When you decide to take the time and energy to make some changes in your life whether that’s adding boundaries, changing a routine, being more responsive versus reactive, or trying to prioritize more so you’re not so overwhelmed... those shifts are noticeable to the people closest to you. And they might feel a bit “off” when you make changes... because now things in their world aren’t as predictable. Something has changed. So give the people in your world some time to adjust and realize there might be some unrest. It’ll become clear who is willing to adjust and give you the space to grow versus those who aren’t willing.
Repost @neil_strauss. Ghosting aside, when we tell the truth - when we’re willing to risk feeling uncomfortable or we’re willing to risk losing love we come much closer to our potential. Telling the truth when it’s hard to tell it is what matures us and it actually can raise your self - worth significantly.
How do I know what I need?⠀ .⠀ Last week I discussed unmet needs in our childhood and many asked what could be some of these needs. This question is great insight into how many of us were taught (directly/indirectly) that our needs didn’t matter-creating a foundation rooted in disconnection from our mind/body system needs.⠀ .⠀ As children, our needs often fall into the physical and connection category. This is most necessary from our caretakers; a nurturing, safe home with the basics.⠀ .⠀ As we get older, our needs get more complex and layered. We seek autonomy from our caregivers to develop our identity. We seek to cope with stress. We seek love in relationships, etc.⠀ .⠀ If our needs were not honored as children, chances are it may be very difficult for us to know what we need or that we are even deserving of these needs.⠀ .⠀ Let’s take the time to honor past and current unmet needs...and acknowledge that we are worthy of having these needs met.
People-pleasers were once caregiver-pleasers (some of us still are).⠀ .⠀ Being a people-pleaser is an adaptive behavior. At the core is the attempt to achieve connection and closeness to a caretaker who is not consistently available. This may have looked like a caretaker who was warm and loving and the next moment distant or absent. In order to maintain the connection, the child does all they can to "earn" love. If the caretaker crossed the line into neglect, abuse or harsh punishments, pleasing and making sure not to make any waves was an attempt for the child to remain safe. ⠀ .⠀ As adults, these behaviors continue and on some level we find safety in pleasing others, not disappointing, seeking validation, and putting everyone's needs before our own. We seek love and connection with the belief that we have to "earn" it just as we did in our childhood.⠀ .⠀ So, while there's a ton of resources on "How to stop being a people-pleaser" (the tone also sounds shameful and like we're pathetic pushovers) there's a huge part that isn't addressed: how these behaviors developed, their purpose, and other ways we can seek love and connection while still being in tune with our needs.⠀ .⠀ Just like when we remodel a home, we have to take a look at the foundations and the things that are holding it together to figure out the best course of action.⠀ .⠀ Does this resonate with you? P.s. If it doesn’t, that’s ok, this is just one behavioral explanation, there are many ways in which we adapt and attempt to get our needs met from our caregivers⠀ *⠀ *⠀ *⠀ *⠀ *⠀ #communication#communicationskills#boundaries#healthyboundaries#mentalhealthblogger#attachmentparenting#attachment#mentalhealthwarrior#therapist#bekindtoyourmind#bekindtoyourself#selfcompassion#selfkindness#therapyiscool#copingskills#selfhelp#nourishyourself#nourishyourmind#lookwithin#emotionalintelligence#feelyourfeelings#selfhealing#honoryourself#healingmyself
Formidable Expression guides you to express yourself fully, grow confident in your expression and develop better boundaries for yourself. Once you become formidable in your expression, you’re less likely to take on the manipulative tactic of gaslighting that fragile people throw your way. You grow more sovereign about who you communicate with, why and how. Start speaking and communicating with those who get you. Allow yourself the permission to become fully expressed in my forthcoming eCourse, Formidable Expression. Early bird pricing ends on Friday. #formidableexpression
Il y a quelques temps, pour mon autre projet @chloeinvisible , j’avais dessiné des accroche-portes, pour exprimer nos besoins même quand c’est difficile. Même quand on n’ose pas trop. Ils avaient beaucoup plu, alors aujourd’hui, comme c’est bientôt Noël, je vous les offre en version téléchargeable que vous pouvez ensuite imprimer, découper... et utiliser ☺️😘✨ En espérant qu’il vous aide à communiquer☺️ Le lien est sur mon profil ! . . . #illustration#communication#bienveillance#cnv#endouceur#etencouleurs#illustratrice